As loved ones and caregivers, it’s easy to get stuck in “fix” mode, as we’re always tuned to and tending to their needs. Often 24/7. 365. And if we’re lucky we’ll save a little space for our own needs. But something seems to be missing. Is there more?
Arrghhh…just the thought of “more” is overwhelming! Makes me want to run. Fast. Far away!
Now, finally calmed down and grounded, I can see that it’s a good question. It occurred to me the other morning:
What am I doing to affirm him? Beyond just the basic necessities,
what builds him up and encourages him?
After wracking my worn out brain, I came up empty. So I prayed about it. Then I sat with my husband on the sofa, held his hand, looked into his eyes and asked, ”What can I do to affirm, and encourage you, and build you up?”
Instantly his eyes lit up! Wow…just asking the question meant a lot to him!
With a big smile he replied, “Everything you do builds me up. Just be you.” And he went on with specifics of what I do that he loves (won’t bore you with details.) 😉
So I mulled it over more, prayed about it again, and put out some feelers with others who care for loved ones battling PTSD. I finally arrived at a simple formula, and I’ve had plenty of opportunities to try it out at home. The acronym is HAP (for happy). 🙂
1. HUG
In addition to feeling good, hugs can release certain neurochemicals in our brains that bring all sorts of happy feelings for both people. Yay! And easy to do.
2. AFFIRM
Words of gratitude, appreciation and affirmation have the capacity to uplift us, and them as well. I’m getting into the habit of thanking him daily for something he’s done, and/or acknowledging him for something positive. It’s kind of fun, although it may take a little creativity for some people. And the more we do it, the more natural it becomes.
3. PRAY
Any simple prayer offered on their behalf carries more power than we realize. And what a privilege that the God of the universe invites us to come to Him with our needs. Anytime. Anywhere.
These three simple steps are actually something we can do, even if just once a day. And it’s not a burden, but a joy!
Finally, I’d like to give YOU a warm hug, thank YOU for being there for the one you love, and pray that the Lord will be to YOU everything you need. 🙂
