Being seriously ill is no fun. Toss in a good dose of PTSD and you’ve got the perfect storm! My husband had been sick for a while and suddenly took a downward turn – right before bedtime – crumpled over, high fever and feeling like he was on death’s door. I hadn’t been feeling well either and we were both desperate for sleep.
“I don’t know what to do! Do I go to bed, or to the VA ER? I don’t know what to do!” he kept repeating. He was triggered. Then I panicked. It would kill me to stay up all night in the ER with him. And what if we went there and they wouldn’t see him and just sent him home again?
We were both triggered! There was no answer. No solution. And no one to help.
I just wanted to run! Far away. Or DO something! But WHAT? I felt like my body and mind were spinning out of control.
Then I CHOSE to get alone, sit in my comfy chair, and pray. Breathe. Breathe some more. Let myself relax in my “safe and happy place” for as long as it took.
After about 15 minutes I could feel myself coming back together again. Then (and only then) did I get an idea. I could call the ER and see what they suggest. What an answer to prayer! It was SO clear. And it was the answer. They said, “Yes, come now.”
Willing at that point to be up all night, I offered to take him. He was able to think clearly now, had a burst of energy, and to my relief he insisted on driving himself. We prayed together and had a good hug. And I cried when he left.
He ended up staying most of the night there, and came home with some medication for pneumonia. It was a good thing that he went! And guess what? I slept like a baby all night! Now that was another miracle.
Thankfully he is doing so much better now, and I’ve had time to reflect on the whole thing. So to be better prepared for next time (yup…there WILL be a next time), what is my takeaway? 3 things (remember GPS):
1. Grounding
Discover what works for you. There are lots of techniques to experiment with. If you haven’t tried any, an internet search will offer plenty. Or ask others what helps them. Taking steps to getting grounded is something we all can do.
2. Prayer
Here’s where God fits in…connecting us to a higher power when we most need it. When we get triggered our brains are stuck in emergency response mode, and we can’t see our way out. We feel so alone. So helpless. I’m not advocating religion per se, but rather a relationship with Him that offers help and hope. Happy to dialog further with anyone about this (info@loveourvets.org) . 🙂
3. Support
As I remind us in the book “Love Our Vets: Restoring Hope for Families of Veterans with PTSD,” connecting with others is a vital lifeline. Only those living with PTSD themselves can truly grasp the overwhelming challenges 24/7. 365. Local groups or online, or even a “battle buddy” within reach will be a great help, not just in the hard times but in between as well.
Now I’ve got a GPS ready to go for the next perfect storm. In the meantime, I’m gonna go give my wonderful husband a big hug. 🙂
