Most of us dread going through the TSA lines at the airport, especially if you are already prone to hyper-vigilance, anxiety, and all the stress related to PTSD. It’s been my preference to opt out, and submit to a pat down rather than be exposed to the x-rays. But unfortunately during my prior trip they gave me the third degree for something the computer apparently picked up on my backpack. I pretty much freaked out inwardly, but thankfully they decided I was not a threat after all. 😉 So this last week I decided on this trip to go along with the crowd, and submitted to the x-ray routine to avoid any hassles.
Still anxious and hyper alert, I managed to successfully pass through the x-ray machine. But my victory was short lived as I noticed my backpack had been set aside. Oh great! Finally getting someone’s attention, I inquired of the nearest TSA agent, “Excuse me. My bag is stuck.”
“It’s NOT STUCK!” the overbearing female agent argued. “It’s been SET ASIDE.” Suddenly she seemed to morph into a grisly guard in a women’s prison. Rather than suggesting a career change, I chose to cooperate.
“Stand over here,” she ordered. So I did. I watched in shock as she rifled through my backpack, pulling things out, shoving them back in, opening flaps, zipping and unzipping zippers…to no avail. (I was tempted to ask her if she realized how hard I worked to get everything to fit in there!) I almost wished she would have found something so I could get on with the next step of this bizarre ordeal.
Turning her gaze on me like a grizzly whose rabbit just got away, she demanded, “Are there anymore compartments in here?” Surprising myself that I wasn’t shaking yet, I calmly answered, “No,” and came clean by informing her that I had a lunch box at the bottom. (Good thing I learned from the movies that full disclosure usually helps in these situations.) 😉
With a renewed vigor, she then attacked the backpack once more, scattering my stuff everywhere as she dove to retrieve the lunch box. Exuding victory, she unzipped the soft padded lunch box, and fully-gloved she proceeded first to examine my cheese. Without cracking a smile the entire time, she held it up to the light, and scrutinized it thoroughly. Apparently not satisfied that my cheese was dangerous, she grabbed the other object in the lunch: my steamed broccoli.
Bingo! Now THAT was apparently the suspicious object as evidenced by her extremely intense examination. She held it up to the light, turned it upside down and all around. And again. And again. Of course my mind went into full gear rehearsing all the possible scenarios that might follow. (Maybe I should be glad she was not a prison guard!)
Finally she shoved the broccoli back into the lunch box, crammed most of my stuff back into the pack, told me I could go, and turned and walked away.
“Excuse me,” I bravely said, “Can you please tell me what the red flag was, so I can be sure this does not happen again?”
She pivoted around, glared at me and said, “Organic mass.”
“You mean my broccoli???”
“ORGANIC MASS!” she growled, and stomped away.
As I proceeded down the long concourse, it hit me that I actually did okay! I did not freak out! And although I felt anxious, alone, and vulnerable, deep down I knew I was neither alone nor vulnerable. I was able to pray, and breathe. And in spite of the precarious situation, I knew the Lord was with me, and He gave me peace. Yay! It is so encouraging to have these moments when we see progress, and our faith and our ability to cope under stress truly is growing, even though it may not always feel like it.
Thankfully, the rest of the trip was uneventful, and organic mass never tasted so good! 🙂
Welby O’Brien holds a Master’s Degree in counseling from Portland State University and a teaching degree from Biola University, and based on her own life journey she has authored LOVE OUR VETS: Restoring Hope for Families of Veterans with PTSD (www.LoveOurVets.org), Goodbye for Now (grief support), and Formerly A Wife (divorce support). She is also a contributing author to Chicken Soup for the Soul: Divorce and Recovery,Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Spirit of America, as well as Shepherding Women in Pain. Welby initiated and continues to facilitate the spouse and family support network known as Love Our Vets – PTSD Family Support, LLC. Join Welby and thousands of others on Facebook: Love Our Vets – PTSD Family Support, LLC on Facebook.
