Feeling alone, overwhelmed, helpless, abandoned, hopeless, angry, depressed, or confused? There is nothing like living in the world of PTSD. And the harder we try to fix things or understand them, the more frustrated we get! That is why so many loved ones just throw in the towel and walk away.
I admire and applaud all of you who are hanging in there as you love your PTSD survivor. As the grateful wife of a veteran who has battled PTSD for over 4 decades, I too go through the gamut of ups and downs. Throw in a little perfectionism on top of a fixing nature, combined with the secondary PTSD most of us have acquired – and look out!
Learning about – and accepting my limitations (and failures) – has been an ongoing process. Let me share a few things that have been helpful to me on my own journey. Hope you find them helpful as well.
I cannot always help the one I love.
I cannot get others to understand.
I cannot help everyone who battles PTSD.
I cannot fix the world, or any person.
I cannot warn every warrior and their loved ones of what they may have to face.
I cannot stop war.
I cannot maintain a perfect relationship or an ideal home.
I cannot always have a great day.
BUT…
I CAN love someone with PTSD.
I CAN connect with others who understand.
I CAN offer encouragement to those with PTSD.
I CAN listen to someone in need.
I CAN honor all who serve and have served.
I CAN help spread awareness of PTSD.
I CAN keep on learning and growing.
I CAN take care of me.
It is totally OKAY to have a meltdown, to cry, to pray, to reach out to someone who is good for us, and to laugh at ourselves when we can. Tomorrow is always another day. Let’s do what we tell them to do:
“Just do the best you can. And that is okay!”
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Welby O’Brien is crazy about her Veteran husband, and together they face the daily challenges of PTSD. Holding a Master’s Degree in counseling from Portland State University and a teaching degree from Biola University, based on her own life journey she has authored LOVE OUR VETS: Restoring Hope for Families of Veterans with PTSD(www.LoveOurVets.org), Goodbye for Now (grief support), and Formerly A Wife (divorce support). She is also a contributing author to Chicken Soup for the Soul: Divorce and Recovery, Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Spirit of America, as well as Shepherding Women in Pain. Welby initiated and continues to facilitate the spouse and family support networkknown as Love Our Vets – PTSD Family Support, LLC. Join Welby and thousands of others on Facebook: Love Our Vets – PTSD Family Support, LLC on Facebook.
