Thankfully it is safely past New Year’s resolutions! Once again I managed to squeeze by under the radar without committing to something torturous. However, even though the formal guilt trip is past, the day to day inner naggings still resound.
Of course I want to be healthy. But can’t I just take a pill for that? Without question I want to fit into smaller jeans (doesn’t everybody!), but can’t I just curl up in my recliner (with cookies and chips) and watch Fabulous Fitness on T.V.?
A good friend, also married to a veteran, is making great headway in her campaign to lose weight and get healthier. (Basically to feel good!) I admire her tremendously. Last week she was waiting for her husband while he had an appointment. Needing to kill some time she decided to walk a little and find a place she could grab a bite to eat. Oops! Unfortunately, that area of town had only two places. On one corner was GreasyBurgs, and across the street was Heavenly Donuts.
Question of the day: What would you do?? Utilizing every ounce of strength she had, wrestling the junk food demons, she emerged victorious! Then she went home and pigged out (on all the good food she had around the house.) When asked how she did it, her reply was, “I just kept visualizing ahead, to where I want to be, not only in a year but tonight, rather than the current moment.”
Isn’t that true?! Whatever our challenge, whether eating, drinking too much, quitting smoking, getting enough exercise, etc., the payoff comes not in the present moment but in due time. When we give in to the immediate pleasure (or numbing) of unhealthy choices, we not only do not feel better, we feel worse!! And then we often repeat our detrimental behavior to make us feel better, but to no avail.
I have struggled with compulsive overeating most of my life. And will probably always have that challenge. But I also know how GOOD it feels to make the best choices for me! Even though those choices may be unpleasant or just plain NO FUN at the time.
In the book Love Our Vets: Restoring Hope for Families of Veterans with PTSD , I devote an entire section to taking care of ourselves. In the world of PTSD, self-care is not a luxury. It is essential!
We who live with and support those who battle PTSD
desperately need to put ourselves at the top of our list.
Take care of us!
Too often we become consumed with trying to take care of all their needs at the expense of ours. But, when we take good care of ourselves, and make healthy choices for us, everyone wins.
Welby O’Brien is crazy about her Veteran husband, and together they face the daily challenges of PTSD. Holding a Master’s Degree in counseling from Portland State University and a teaching degree from Biola University, she has authored Goodbye for Now (grief support), and Formerly A Wife (divorce support), and LOVE OUR VETS: Restoring Hope for Families of Veterans with PTSD (www.LoveOurVets.org). She is also a contributing author to Chicken Soup for the Soul: Divorce and Recovery, Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Spirit of America, as well as Shepherding Women in Pain . Welby initiated and continues to facilitate the spouse and family support network known as Love Our Vets – PTSD Family Support, LLC.
