We all know that triggers set off PTSD. Brace for explosion! Thankfully, I am learning much better these days how to handle it when my vet gets triggered. And occasionally I myself get triggered. But what really threw me off guard last week was when we BOTH got triggered! WHOA! No fun. Not pretty. Downright frightening!
Has that ever happened to you? Double triggers are probably more common than we realize. With the initial blast, the discharge hits the other person and ignites their PTSD or other issues. Anyone near and dear is susceptible. Even children. Personally, I needed a refresher course on triggers, how to best be prepared for them, and how to survive when I am triggered too.
PTSD results from exposure to a life-threatening trauma (or one that is perceived as a threat). Since life itself is at stake, the person feels unsafe on every level (physically, emotionally, etc.). The body instantly kicks into survival mode. Freeze, fight or flight!
Because the trauma was so severe and because our bodies are hard-wired for survival, PTSD is a result of the trauma being permanently programmed into us. For the rest of our lives. 24/7. From then on every reminder, external or internal, of that initial trauma is a potential trigger. Originally intended to preserve our lives, the relentless PTSD response eventually becomes a sort of enemy in and of itself.
Some triggers might be specific sounds, smells, temperature changes, sights, feelings, memories, thoughts, emotions, scenes…ANYTHING that reminds our programmed bodies of the trauma. Instantly we are launched into crisis survival mode! And the hardest part is that they usually come unannounced.
No warning.
And that is when we react.
Sometimes I get really discouraged. (Yes, really!) Blowing it does not mean we have lost the fight. We only get defeated when we let the PTSD overcome us. I have to keep reminding myself that we are ALWAYS learning and growing. And if I am willing, I can learn something from every episode that may have seemed like a failure, but can be turned into a growth opportunity (sounds more painful than it is).
When it comes to PTSD and being triggered (especially double- triggered), we all need helpful reminders. Although PTSD makes us feel helpless, we are not. There is hope! The following are some reminders for me of the beneficial things I can do to replace the things I want to change:
When Triggered:
Don’t freeze; BREATHE slowly and deeply.
Don’t fight; SPEAK calmly, “I feel ___,” and “I need___.”
Don’t run; THINK about what my body needs now to make it feel safe.
Bottom line: Don’t let the panic escalate. At the first sign of reaction, do something physical (breathe, sing, walk, pray out loud, drink water, hug your dog or loved one, count backwards, etc.).
After Calming Down:
Don’t waste energy resenting the PTSD; try to ACCEPT it and go forward.
Don’t let my identity get lost; stay ALIVE and grounded.
Don’t try to do it alone; CONNECT with others for support.
Don’t minimize the importance of my own issues; continue to get good COUNSELING.
Don’t let their PTSD and mine pool together; DIFFERENTIATE their triggers from mine.
Don’t sweep it all under the rug and hope it goes away; TALK together about their triggers and mine.
Don’t play the victim; take preemptive CONTROL to avoid triggers.
Don’t be passive; have a clear simple PLAN in place.
Don’t forget about triggers during the good times; stay TUNED to the first warning signs.
Don’t beat myself up for not being perfect; keep on LEARNING and willing to grow.
And the best for last: Don’t put life on hold. ENJOY the good days to the fullest! 🙂
Love Our Vets – PTSD Family Support, LLC on Facebook
