I witnessed something today that really ruffled my marbles! Deeply disturbing. While munching my lunch in my parked car in an unfamiliar neighborhood, I had a front row seat to a mini melodrama. An older man was wheeling a suitcase out to the car for an older woman (I assume they were married) followed by a cute little dog. No words or smiles were exchanged.
Suddenly the man perked up and shouted a friendly greeting to his neighbor across the street. (Still no smiles or words between the couple.) He put her suitcase into the car, shut the door and began walking back to the house. Ignoring him, the woman stooped down with a huge smile, touched noses with the little dog, and smothered him with lots of kisses. She passionately reassured him (the dog) that she would miss him but would return in a few days. Those two continued their lively farewell, while the man walked slowly back toward the house. Never a glance or word between them. Then she got into her car and drove off. The little dog scurried after the man and into the house, probably greeted by another mega dose of affection.
Although just a mere bystander, I felt sad. Grieved actually. Happy for the dog, but sad for the couple. I visualized how that scene could have been played (lived) with so much more life and love and passion!
I wonder as life drags on, if all of us are vulnerable to such complacency. Apathy is almost worse than anger. It is so lifeless. Disconnected. Alone.
Those of us whose loved ones are afflicted by PTSD are very familiar with disconnecting. They do it and so do we.
But there is good news. Hope! I recently learned that the brain has amazing capabilities of regenerating. In particular, the brain affected by PTSD or Traumatic Brain Injury, can heal. It will never be “fixed;” but new neural pathways can develop. You know how?? LOVE. Connection. In Love Our Vets: Restoring Hope for Families of Veterans with PTSD , I share many real life examples of how we can love our vets in practical daily ways. And now I realize that as we do, new rivers of life, new pathways of healing are opened up!
Never underestimate the power of love, not only for those on the receiving end but also for us.
I pray for that couple, that they would take the steps they need to draw closer to each other. How wonderful if they could share and experience the life they obviously have inside of them with each other! It could start as simply as a soft squeeze on the hand, a gentle kiss on the cheek, a friendly smile, a warm hug, a thoughtful card, a fresh peach pie, or a rip roaring roll in the hay! You never know. Sometimes the first few steps are the scariest. It is normal for us to fear unresponsiveness or rejection. But I am learning that the risk is so well worth it!
We never have to settle for complacency. We have the power to give love. The more we love, the more others benefit, and the best part is that the ultimate beneficiary is ourselves!
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